Saturday, November 19, 2011

I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me!

Peggy comes home today after a week in Sweden on business. Can't wait to see her!

One thing you will learn, or know all too well already, is that fibromyalgia becomes part of your relationships, and it will necessarily change many of those relationships.

This is particularly true between spouses and partners. The partners with FMS simply cannot do all the things that keep a household and a relationship running the way they did before the syndrome came into their lives. The partner without FMS will necessarily find themselves picking up a greater share of household duties, from laundry and cleaning to the care and feeding of the other two and four legged members of the family. They may well come to resent this extra burden on their lives that are probably already overstressed. Meanwhile the partner with FMS may (I know I do) feel guilty and frustrated about the limitations they encounter.

Deal with this openly and honestly, and early in the game, before it becomes toxic. You are not less of a person or a less valuable partner because you have FMS. Your partner loves you and wants to help you through this, and be part of it with you. Convey to them that you are committed to do all that you can to make your relationship, your home and your lives together work.

1 comment:

G&G Sime said...

I know it is not the same but I have read several things by the author of Sea Biscuit, Laura Hildebrand, who has CFS. She talks of how she had to reduce the stress, sleep, sleep some more, and how one little task done each day made the day count as a success. CFS and FM are related somehow and so many people have both. Keep the blog going if you can. It will reach those who are being diagnosed right behind you. I'm cheering for you. Anna